Brandon:
This is the BiggerPockets podcast, show 491.

Adam:
So many people are obsessed with the latest computer, the latest gadgets, the latest software, the latest this, but you’re the one who’s running all this stuff. I always say health is the ultimate productivity tool. So when you upgrade yourself, you give yourself the capacity to handle everything better. You’re a better version of yourself.

Intro:
You’re listening to BiggerPockets Radio, simplifying real estate for investors, large and small. If you’re here looking to learn about real estate investing without all the hype, you’re in the right place. Stay tuned and be sure to join the millions of others who have benefited from biggerpockets.com, your home for real estate investing online.

Brandon:
What’s going on [inaudible 00:00:45]. It’s Brandon Turner, host of the BiggerPockets podcast here with my co-host, Mr. David, getting ripped, Greene. What’s up, man. How you doing?

David:
That’s funny. Getting ripped-

Brandon:
Getting ripped. Dude, today’s show is all about getting ripped in your business, in your life, in your relationship and everything. How to get into better sustainable, consistent excellence is really what this thing is about. And it is… I know I’ve said this before and we record a lot of good shows, but this is one of my favorite episodes we’ve ever recorded. And I’m excited for you guys to hear this thing. It’s a long one, but it’s worth listening to every moment of it because it’s going to impact every moment of your life. So more on that in a moment with our guest, Adam Gilbert, but first let’s get to today’s quick tip.

Brandon:
Today’s quick tip is plain and simple. I want you to start tracking something in your life that’s important to you. Now, maybe you’re trying to lose weight, start tracking some calories, put into a calorie app or use… The company today we’re talking about that Adam founded, it’s called MyBodyTutor. Whether it’s something like that or a fitness app, or even a piece of paper, track that. If it’s real estate deals you want to close, start tracking your lead measures. Things like number of offers sent, number of deals analyzed. If it’s relationships or checking your date nights, which are checking the hours you spend with your kids. Track something because I want you to get into the practice of recognizing that it’s not the big things in life that lead us to success. It’s the daily consistent little things, and that’s really today’s show is all about. So that’s today’s quick tip.

Brandon:
All right. Now, last thing before we get to the interview, just something to be aware of that’s happening in the near future is Ashley Kehr hosted the BiggerPockets Rookie podcast, is going to be hosting a group, kind of a group… I don’t even call it coaching, but a group program together to make sure for those of who are thinking about getting into real estate and you’re just struggling getting started, a sort of a, we’ll call it a military bootcamp, but for investors. So keep an eye out for that. More information to come on that. I just want to tease that here. There’s something cool coming and Ashley’s amazing. She’s awesome. So that and more and I guess that’s it. So last thing, I will say this as a disclaimer, I don’t know if I need to say this, but I’ll say it anyway.

Brandon:
The company that our guest today founded, which is called MyBodyTutor, I actually was a paid, I mean, I am a paid member of that… Member, is that the right word? I’m a customer, basically. I’m saying I’m a customer for years. And then recently I begged Adam to bring me on as an advisor. So I’m an advisor for the first time ever in another company, which is cool, which means I can help advise and so I’m an advisor of MyBodyTutor, and that’s not why I brought him on. I really have been wanting to do this for the last three years. And I love everything he says. And I think you guys are going to love this too. It’s life changing stuff. So just with that said, I think it’s time to get into today’s interview with Adam Gilbert. Adam, welcome to the BiggerPockets podcast, man. I am super excited about this interview.

Adam:
Thank you so much for having me too.

Brandon:
Yeah. So let’s get into this a little bit. So as I mentioned during the introduction, I’m a big fan of MyBodyTutor. I have been for a long time. Actually a buddy, PT, or Philip Taylor is the one that first introduced me to the concept because I saw him and I was like, the guy was like a different person. Literally like half the person he was. Actually, the very first time I ever surfed it was with him and I’m like, “How did you get so in shape?” And he’s like, “Oh yeah, MyBodyTutor.” So that’s how this whole thing started. And so then I joined and I lost 40 pounds and watched my business explode as well at the same time using the exact same kind of principles that you were teaching about fitness. I applied it to business and real estate, which is crazy. So anyway, I’m pumped about this because I want to everyone else to hear like all the stuff that you’ve shared over the years, and we’re going to boil it down to an interview. So anyway.

David:
I love it. [crosstalk 00:04:32].

Brandon:
With that said, I’m pumped. Let’s start at the beginning. Before you were helping people get in shape and lose weight and improve the businesses and all that, what were you doing?

Adam:
So I actually worked for Ernst & Young for two years right out of college and I hated every second of it. I was always into health and fitness though. I was always the go-to guy for health and fitness and while I was working there, it was always the same story. I’d give people diet and exercise plans and then I’d see them a week or two later, depending on client engagements and depending where I was and it was always the same story. It was always, “I love the plan you made up for me, but” and it was, “I got caught up with work, life, happy hours, kids,” whatever it was. And I realized right then and there that it wasn’t necessarily a lack of knowledge that was the real issue. There was a lack of consistent action, a lack of follow through. And that’s where the idea for MyBodyTutor came into play and I quit my full-time job in January 2007 and have been at this ever since.

Brandon:
That’s crazy. How did that feel, just quitting a job? I’m assuming you were making good income, you had a career that could have gone up and up in the next 40 years, but there you go and just jump into a complete entrepreneurial thing with no guarantee of success. What was your mindset during that time?

Adam:
Yeah, it was very terrifying. I was two years out of college, my mom thought I was absolutely nuts. She thought I was crazy. I did not have her blessing, but it was ultimately my decision. I was living in New York City and the only goal I had was I did not want to move home. So I wanted to make it work, but it was very, very scary. I mean, I vividly remember looking out the window in Times Square of the office and seeing like there’s likely I’ll never have this view again and I was giving up comfort and security to chase my dream.

Brandon:
Yeah. And that’s something that a lot of our listeners encounter as well. Like the parent who says, “That’s crazy, you shouldn’t do it.” The dream of I want it, but like that fear that rises up. It says, “I don’t know if I can actually do this.” Do you have any [inaudible 00:06:38]. I mean, as an entrepreneur, before we get into fitness stuff, but as an entrepreneur, what advice do you have for people who are in that same spot right now going, “Oh, I hate my job. I hate every second of this. I want something different, but I’m afraid.”

Adam:
Yeah. Well I think if you’re afraid, first it’s helpful to identify what you’re actually scared of, but it’s also really helpful… I mean, to work on your passion at least on the side because it’s amazing how, if you work on your passion, even 20 to 45 minutes a day, I mean, doing something that makes you feel alive for 20 to 45 minutes a day can impact your entire life. Right? So if you’re really scared of giving up that financial security, which is totally understandable then work on it on the side, but act as if you don’t have your day job, because that day job can become a crutch and you want to get away from that. So I would say working on the side, because even though I quit my full-time job without a security blanket or a safety blanket, I knew that I had to make it work. And I was only two years out of college so I didn’t have kids back then. I didn’t have to worry about that. And I was just so unhappy that it made it easy.

Brandon:
Yeah. Well, that’s a really good point. I mean, this is an application that applies to… [inaudible 00:07:51] already do a lot of I’m sure comparisons today between fitness and business, but the same thing applies. In fitness, you could spend four hours a day at the gym. You can spend five hours a day at the gym if you wanted to and you’d probably see some amazing results, but also if you spent 30 minutes every day and you were just consistent with it and you were keeping healthy, you’d probably see drastic results as well. I think we assume things take a lot more time every day than they really do, when it’s the consistency that matters. Huh?

Adam:
No, question about it. I mean, if you do a few meaningful things each day, it can absolutely move the needle versus feeling like you have to run a marathon every time you work out or do a thousand things for your business. And another thing just to point out is in terms of any advice for people thinking about making a move is, if you really don’t feel like you can leave your job, that’s again, it’s understandable. It’s hard to do your best work when you’re worried about putting food on the table. So don’t. Take that off the table, so to speak, and focus on working when you can so this way you don’t have to worry about those basic needs.

Brandon:
That’s such a good point. Yeah. Well, so real estate investors, I teach them all the time on a… I do a webinar every week for BiggerPockets. And I always say the same thing. You can build a massive portfolio in like 15 minutes a day if you were just consistent. The core things you have to do to build an image using a real estate example, but there’s these core things, right? You have to analyze… You have to get leads coming in. You have to have some source of leads. So okay. Get your real estate agents, set you up with leads. Now you got automatic leads coming into your inbox, great. Or you’re sending direct mail marketing, or you’re doing cold calling, whatever.

Brandon:
Set up a system, now you got things coming in. And then every day, if you just analyze one deal a day, if that’s all you did is analyze one deal and it takes five minutes, 10 minutes. And then once a week, you throw an offer on one of those five. You throw in 10 offers on a property, you’ll probably land one of them. So in other words, if you just were consistent with that, you’re not working any more than 10 minutes a day, maybe once a week you spend 30 minutes writing up an offer on a property, but 10 weeks later you guys have a property.

Brandon:
On average. It doesn’t guarantee you’ll get one, but what do people spend their time doing? Like business cards and meetings and planning and reading and podcasts. And there’s nothing wrong with any of that. But it’s like going to the gym and then standing around for four hours saying, “I don’t really have time for the gym. I can’t do four hours a day. So I better just not do any of it.”

Adam:
Right. They’re focusing on the fun/slash comfortable stuff and as we know it’s the uncomfortable stuff that typically moves the needle at first, at least.

Brandon:
Yeah. Dude, that’s so good and it reminds me of, there’s this great… You mentioned a minute ago about how the people at your work, you could write them up the exact plan and food diet fitness plan, and they just don’t make a change. And I know from my life that’s happened many times. Everybody here knows how to lose weight. That’s not a secret. It’s not like, how do you lose weight? It’s also not a secret to build a business or to invest in real estate. The secrets are not non-existent. It’s the fundamentals. This is a great quote from… What’s his name? Derek Sivers, Derek Sivers who wrote a few good books and he’s been a Ted Talk guy, but he says, “If more information was the answer, we would all be billionaires with six pack abs,” and I’ve always loved it. It’s one of my favorite quotes of all time. Yeah, we all know how to get abs.

Adam:
A hundred percent. And even when I started this 14 years ago, my thesis was that a lack of knowledge is not the real issue. It’s a lack of consistent action and the real question is why can’t we be consistent? And that’s what I dedicated my life to is answering that question.

Brandon:
Yeah, dude, and this is why every time we talk together, I’m always just like the same, always like same, same, because it’s the same exact principles that go into this like that. It’s if people could just be consistent with their business goals and they were doing the things that mattered the most in business, they would achieve the massive success that they want, but they don’t for a lot of reasons. So I thought maybe do you have any tips or rules or ideas? What are these principles that you teach that maybe are crossover principles that apply to both business and on a health standpoint because I want people to listen to the show. I want them thinking, “Okay, I want to lose some weight because most people feel like they want to get better in shape,” but I also want them thinking I want to improve my business. So I don’t know. We’ll call them crossover principles. Do you have any of those?

Adam:
I love it. Yes. I have five that I think will be super helpful to everyone.

Brandon:
Perfect.

Adam:
Yeah, absolutely. So I mean the first thing, no question is you have to have a compelling vision. And you have to see how your life will be better, whether it’s with business or fitness. I think you recently had a post, which I loved. It was a pie chart and it was reasons why I want to be financially independent. And every part of it was family. And for me, for my health, it’s family as well. For me, I grew up, my father had a heart attack and shortly after he had a triple bypass and he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and then seeing him deteriorate mentally and physically throughout the years until he passed away, was extremely hard. And that’s one of the reasons why I’m so passionate about health and fitness, because I learned firsthand that health has true wealth and it was awful to see him deteriorate through the years.

Adam:
So for me, health is so much about my family and my kids and being there and being energized for them and being around for them. I think when you have a compelling vision, it’s a game changer. What do you think?

Brandon:
I’m a hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, I talk about a lot, but I have like the vivid vision on my wall. It’s like a newspaper article written three years in the future where I’m just like, “This is where my company’s headed.” And as soon as I wrote that, that was a three-year goal. We accomplished it in a year, maybe a year and a half. We accomplished almost everything on the list. And now I’m working on my new seven year vision. I’m going to do a seven year one this time trying to buy a billion dollars of real estate. And it’s like, once you have that vision, now it excites me every time I look at it. That’s why I have it hung on my wall, four feet high. It’s a big poster now. It just gets me excited about where I’m headed and it’s not just like, “I want to be in shape.” That’s not the vision necessarily [inaudible 00:13:54] I ask that deeper question. Why? Why does that matter? And I think that’s the compelling vision you’re getting at, isn’t it? Why do you want this thing?

Adam:
Yeah. Why do you want it because here’s the thing. As we know, any worthwhile goal is going to have ups and downs. There’s going to be challenges and as I often say, we either realize their goals or we rationalize them away. And we typically do that when it gets uncomfortable, when it gets hard. But if you have a compelling vision and if you really understand why life will be better, why this is so important, then it will be a lot easier to stick with it when the going gets tough.

Brandon:
Yeah. Dude, there’s so many studies too that are out there that just show like… I mean, obviously, if you spend your whole entire life smoking and eating fats and carbs and… I mean, just like the bad pieces of those, and all you do is just eat Twinkies and nachos and… You’re going to die earlier. So if you knew you were going to die at 45 and somebody was like, “Hey, for a thousand dollars, I’ll let you live until 46,” everyone would be like, “Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. I’ll pay that money.” Right. Or for $10,000, I never would have paid that money. For a hundred thousand dollars, but people would pay that money. They’d figure out a way. But that’s what fitness and eating right does, right?

Brandon:
It gives you extra life. And there’s so many studies that back that up yet, people still don’t do it. But yeah, for me, that compelling vision, like I want to be there for my kids, for my grandkids, to watch them grow old and not be like… My grandparents when they hit like 55, they were too old to do anything. They were just in a wheelchair and then they were in a nursing home at 65 and then they passed away around in their seventies. And I’m like, “Man, I want to,” I don’t know. I see other people in there now, older people and they’re like eighties and nineties that are still active and running around. And I’m like, “I want to be that person.” That sounds pretty good.

Adam:
Yeah, that’s the goal. I mean, a hundred percent and I’m sure you have a ton of workaholics watching and listening to this and it’s like, “Well, I don’t want to take time away from my business.” Right? And my counter to that is, and you’ve certainly experienced this and I think it’s one of the reasons why you’re so passionate about fitness now is, when you improve your fitness, it improves your energy, it improves your clarity, it improves your productivity, right? So many people are obsessed with the latest computer, the latest gadgets, the latest software, latest this, but you’re the one who’s running all this stuff. And I always say, “Health is the ultimate productivity tool,” right? Health is the ultimate productivity tool. So when you upgrade yourself, you give yourself the capacity to handle everything better. You’re a better version of yourself. And when you take a little you time, it actually creates more you time because you’re not as tired, you’re not as lethargic and you’re way more focused and productive.

Brandon:
So that’s interesting. I like that you’re compelling a vision, which we’re talking about right now. The end of life vision is important, but a lot of people are also saying, “Well, whatever, I don’t care about the end of live, I want to enjoy life now.” But what you’re saying is like, by having the right, like the body right now, you are improving now. It’s just like real estate, right? Like the end of your life. Yeah. It’d be great to be a millionaire, multimillionaire, billionaire when I’m 65, 70, 80 years old. But the great thing about real estate, what we all like about it is that you get to enjoy life more now, too because you got 5, 10, 15, $20,000 a month coming in in passive income. Well now you get to travel more, spend time with your kids more, do more activities like skiing and snowboarding and biking because you have the money to be able to not work so hard.

Brandon:
So the principles again are like the exact same. It’s not just compelling vision about the future. It’s compelling vision about today and how you want to feel and how you want to live, right?

Adam:
Yes. Life of course will be better in the future, but it’s going to be way better currently as well. It’s going to be way better than now. And that’s of course that’s the real reward because obviously all we have is now, right. So that’s where it’s at.

Brandon:
Yeah. That’s awesome, man. All right. So the first thing, compelling vision. Do you think people should… Is this the point where they should say no, is the body type I want. Is that how you approach things? Like they, “I want a six pack. I want to weigh 181 pounds. I want to have this size bicep.” Or is there another way of looking at a vision for what you want to look like?

Adam:
Well, everyone has a different vision, right? So I can’t say what everyone should have. If having a six pack or having bigger biceps is what motivates you and that’s part of your vision, how you look, that’s great. And we can certainly help you achieve that. If your vision is… Personally, my rule is whenever my kids say, “Daddy, I want to play,” I will never ever say, “No,” and I will never say, “I’m tired.” Those are two lifelong goal… I will never say I’m tired to my kids. I refuse, because I grew up with a father even before he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, he was always tired and it was tough. And sadly I don’t have all that many memories playing with him. So that is so important to me. So for me, it’s about how I feel, the energy, but for some people, it’s how they want to look and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Adam:
But when you have to choose something that truly excites you, because there’s going to be times like any worthwhile journey, whether it’s fitness, real estate, whatever, where it gets hard. So if your vision is not compelling, then you’re going to give up easily.

Brandon:
Yeah, so, that’s so good. That’s super convicting too because there have been many times where I’ve said no to my kids, I’m too tired, but in reality it’s usually I would rather play on my phone and that’s even worse. I feel like not only am I being too lazy, I’m just like, I’m lazy because I just want to play on my phone. So yeah. I’m going to make that rule in my life right now as well. Never going to say I’m too tired to my kids ever because, yeah. I don’t want that the memory of them is, yeah. Remember dad was always on his phone or dad was always too busy working or dad was always this to play like yeah. Super convicted, man. Let me ask you this and maybe this point will come up later in the conversation.

Brandon:
I don’t know, but I think it’s a good place to throw it in. You might have… Some people might be like, “Well, what I want is I want that great [inaudible 00:19:45] body, right? A goddess body. That’s like chiseled and [inaudible 00:19:48]. Some people might be saying that. There’s that book by Mark Mason, is it, like the Subtle Art Of Not Giving An F. That book, he said something really, really impactful to me. He said like, “Rather than setting a goal for what you want to look like, be like, have or before setting that goal, ask yourself, “Are you willing to do the pain to love the pain?” I think is what they said is, “Love the pain needed to get there.” In other words, I do not have it. I’ve been doing MyBodyTutor now for what, three, four years, something like that.

Brandon:
I lost the 40 pounds. I’ve kept it off. I’ve got a lot stronger now, but I don’t have a six pack, a chiseled six pack because honestly I’m not willing to do that pain. I like eating dessert. I like having a drink occasionally. I like doing all those things. So it’s just interesting. Again, I think it’s when you’re writing that compelling vision of yourself or thinking about what fires you up to think through, what am I willing to do to get that? Because there are consequences to every goal that we set, isn’t there?

Adam:
Absolutely. I mean, listen, there’s the pain, there is pain. There is sacrifice. But I always say a sacrifice is giving up something of lesser value today for something of greater value tomorrow. But for you, for me as well, I refuse to give up certain things, right. I’m never going to say no when my kids want ice cream or going to turn down a slice of pizza. And to your specific point, like yes, in order to have a six pack to get below sub 10% body fat, it takes a lot of saying no. So you definitely have to choose what discomfort you’re willing to embrace, absolutely.

Brandon:
Well, this is maybe a good time to bring up the idea of planned indulgences. This is one of my favorite things in all of MyBodyTutor that I learned from you is this idea of… Well, I’ll let you explain it. Why are you not saying no ice cream, no tacos? Why is that not the plan?

Adam:
Yeah. Well, first off I’m obsessed with sustainability, right? So I want to help people lose weight, help people get in great shape, but most importantly, stay there. And if you’re never able to have your favorite food, that’s not sustainable, nor is that desirable. So our philosophy is, we want our clients to be fit and happy, not fit and miserable. And it’s so important because if you don’t like your life as you’re losing weight, if you don’t like your life, as you’re pursuing your business goals, then you’re never going to be able to stick with it. And the goal is sustainability. The goal isn’t to do everything that you can for a year to try to build a business and then burn out. The goal isn’t to do everything you can for a year to improve your health and improve your physique or whatever, and then give up, right?

Adam:
It’s to be able to sustain it, right? It’s like brushing your teeth. How long are you going to keep brushing your teeth for? For the rest of your life. Hopefully until the day you die. So it’s the same thing here. The fit and happy concept is really important. And it’s also, as I was saying, I never want to be the guy when my kids say, “Hey, let’s go for ice cream and let’s have a slice of pizza,” and I say, “No.” That’s part of being present, that’s part of being with them. However, there’s also a lot of routine meals, a lot of routine days where there’s nothing special, right? It’s just a routine meal and my definition of special is it’s worthwhile and worthwhile to me is, will I remember this in at least two weeks time? So often we eat the chips, the cookies, whatever it might be. We don’t even remember that the following day because it’s not special. Instead, I’d rather save it for the homemade cookies or an amazing restaurant or whatever it might be. That’s the goal. That’s what we’re after.

Brandon:
Yeah. That concept changed my life. I mean, literally changed my life because there were so many times where I just would grab candy because it was on the counter. My kids got this bucket of candy leftover from Halloween. So I just grab it. I don’t remember that five minutes later. It feels really good in the moment and then 10 minutes later I feel horrible and I’m tired and that’s the funny thing about sugar. Everyone thinks sugar gives you energy and power. It gets you hyper, but in reality just slows you down. And yeah, I don’t remember that at all. But now it almost makes those… I’ll give you an example. Rough example.

Brandon:
The other night… Actually was it yes… Yeah. Two nights ago. There was my buddy, Josh Dorkin who founded BiggerPockets here, lives in Maui now and one of Josh’s relatives who lives here as well, had a birthday party, like a 75th birthday party. So we did this fancy [Kiev 00:24:03] it’s called [inaudible 00:24:04] door. It’s one of my buddies runs this outdoor fine dining experience. We did the outdoor dinner, under the stars. It was an amazing evening. I was hanging out with good people and it was a powerful night. Right. So I knew that was coming and I was excited for it. And I had no guilt about eating the pineapple upside down cake that was made at that event because I still remember it now.

Brandon:
Every bit about that evening was right. But the rest of that day and the day before it, and the day before it, because I knew that was coming, it was like, I wasn’t starving myself, but it was like, “Well, I could eat this candy bar right now, but I’m not going to remember that. But you know what I’m going to remember is that pineapple. I want to make that worth it. I want to make it memorable.” So anyway, super grateful for that whole concept because it just changed my life.

Speaker 1:
Yeah. It’s a really powerful litmus test. It makes it easy to make decisions. It’s like, is this worthwhile or not? And I think it comes down to the second rule of how this all applies to fitness and business is is this the right path? Right. And is what you’re trying to follow through with, is it doable? Is it sustainable? Is it realistic?

Adam:
Follow through with, is it doable? Is it sustainable? Is it realistic? Because if it’s not, you’re setting yourself up for failure, right? So let’s say your listeners who are pursuing real estate and all that, and business, is what you’re trying to do sustainable? Or is it something that you’re going to burn out? I always use the analogy: if you’re driving from New York to California, it’s way more effective to go 80 miles an hour consistently versus a hundred miles an hour only to burn out. Because you’re just going to burn out. So give yourself a chance to succeed and come up with a plan that’s actually realistic and doable, whether it’s for fitness or business.

Brandon:
Yeah. I’ve done a ton of these over the years, I don’t know, 20 years of the 90 days extreme fitness home video DVD sets or I’m going to go 75 days of just like eating nothing and working out twice a day. And I like those, I’m curious of your thoughts on those things, but based on what you’re saying here, after those challenges, after whatever it is I do for the 90 days, 75 days, whatever, I always gain back whatever I lost there. It works in the moment, but I always gain it back. So what are your thoughts on those different challenges that are out there?

Adam:
Yeah. I mean, they’re all willpower-based, right? They’re all willpower-based and it’s important, as you know, if nothing’s changing between your ears, then it’s a short-term thing. And the test I always use is can I see myself eating this way in five years? Or can I see myself working like this in five years or 10 years or whatever? But the whole idea is it has to be sustainable. So whether it’s any of these short-term challenges or diet challenges, if you don’t see yourself eating like that in five, 10 years, then you’re setting yourself up to burnout. And the same way with the way you work. If the way you’re working every day is burning you out, if you’re left exhausted, and you just feel like you’re hanging on by the skin of your teeth, you’re not going to last. And as you know, this is a long-term game. You can’t burn out. You got to give yourself a chance to show up every day for as long as possible.

Brandon:
Yeah. I love it. I love that. Yeah. There’s so many connections here to real estate and to business and to fitness again, there’s crossover principles. So yeah, willpower-based. I wrote that phrase down here. I always take notes when I’m talking to people, but I really like those are willpower-based and there’s so many things in life where we’re just trying to push through and I can do this and I can be strong enough. Why is willpower so, I’ll say a weak, use of alliteration there, why is willpower so terrible and weak sometimes?

Adam:
Well, listen, the perfect example is every gym is crowded in January and empty by early February. So we’re all starting out eager and raring to go, but then life kicks in. So whenever you’re using willpower, it just doesn’t last. It’s way more effective to use your limited self-control, and we all have limited self-control to use your limited willpower to create environments where you don’t need self-control. So use your limited self-control to create environments where you don’t need. And it’s the same thing with willpower. If you’re using willpower to accomplish a goal, that’s not going to last. It has to feel doable. It has to feel practical.

Brandon:
That’s really good. Yeah. We had Benjamin Hardy who wrote a book called Willpower Doesn’t Work on the show back, I don’t know, six months ago now, maybe longer. And he basically said the exact same thing. Use your environment. When you alter your environment, everything else becomes easier. Even to the point of, when I know I’m going to go running early in the morning, I set my shoes and my clothes, I’ll wrap on my bed because now I don’t have to make that choice. It’s just sitting there. So my environment made it much less of a willpower issue as it was just like, okay, well, let me put on my clothes. They’re just sitting there. So yeah. Environment definitely plays a huge piece in changing behavior and all that. And yeah, that’s really good, man. Really good. All right. What else you got on that? We got any more on rule number two or should move on to rule number three?

Adam:
Yeah. I mean, again, I guess, putting yourself on the right path. I mean, just to kind of reiterate, it has to feel sustainable. It has to feel realistic. So whatever you’re doing, whether it’s with fitness or business, ask yourself, can I live like this for the next five years, for the next 10 years? So if staying up until 3:00 AM every morning or every night and working on your side hustle, if that’s not doable, then you got to scale back a little bit.

Brandon:
Yeah. Yeah. Really good. I tend to get these moments where I’ll think, for example, I’ll go a little bit more relaxed on my diet and gain a little bit of weight and I’ll suddenly just be like, “You know what? I’m going to get back on this bandwagon. I’m going to go 30 days with no sugar. Starting right now. I’m going to go 30 days, no sugar.” And every time I do that, I go, ” Wait, wait, wait, wait. Remember what Adam said? Stick to the program. It’s not going to be sustainable.” I will do it. I will power through 30 days of whatever I’m eating this or that or not eating this or that. And then I just remind myself am I going to do this five years from now? Can I maintain this?

Brandon:
Let me give you another business analogy of this. So there’s a program, or not a program, it’s the wrong word, an operating system called EOS. I’ve probably talked to you about it before Adam, but it’s from the book Traction, which is ironically sitting at my desk right now. So the whole idea of EOS is saying, look, most people set goals in January of I’m going to build my business to $5 million this year. I’m going to buy 10 rental properties this year. And then they write that down maybe, most don’t even do that. And then nothing happens. Just like they sign up for the gym and then they lose out by February.

Brandon:
What Traction did for my company and for my business and for many other entrepreneurs is it took that okay, fine. That might be your goal. Let’s break that into a sustainable week. By week, month by month, quarter by quarter plan. There’s no end to it. It’s not a goal. It’s just literally this is how you operate your life. And so it’s almost like my body tutor is the EOS or the Traction of the body. It’s maybe a crappy analogy, but I like thinking that way. It’s like, this is just how we operate my business is doing EOS. This is how we meet. This is when we meet, this is how we set goals. And we’re going to do this forever. I mean, we’ve seen such dramatic increases in Opendoor capital because of using this model. And it doesn’t have to be Traction or EOS. It could be something else. But having a system that you can just do forever works just like with fitness or diet. That’s the problem with diets is that it’s like I’m going to make 10 cold calls every day in my business for this month. Okay, great. But at the end of that, do you have a consistent lead source coming in for your properties? No? Well, that’s the problem.

Adam:
Right. It’s inherently short-term.

Brandon:
All right. So this is amazing so far. And I know we’ve got a lot more to talk about. So let me just give a recap. You said you had five rules. The first one you said was create a compelling vision. Second one was put yourself on the right path. What about number three? What do you got for a rule or a crossover principle for that? I

Adam:
I know you’re going to love this one. It’s take daily consistent action. Because listen, consistency keen your heart, right?

Brandon:
Yeah.

Adam:
Daily consistent action is the key to success. And if you take it choice by choice, day by day, task by task, then you’re eventually going to get to where you want to be.

Brandon:
Do you find, Adam, that that becomes one of the hardest parts for people is I guess in my life, I always noticed that I tend to gravitate towards intensity over consistency. Sometimes I miss a couple of days or a couple of weeks or a couple months or whatever, and I’m mad at myself. So then I just go throw everything I have into what that thing is. And the next week after working out like that, I can’t do anything. So you’re just laying in bed the whole time, or you’re eating bad food to try to make yourself feel better because you wear yourself out of it. I do that with lots of things in life. Is that as a consistent pattern you’ve seen with a lot of the people that you help?

Adam:
Oh totally. I mean, there’s a lot of things to unpack there. So I mean, number one the intensity over consistency. I’m much more in the school of consistency over intensity. The goal is to show up every day, day in and day out, week after week. And as long as you’re doing that, then you’re going to be consistent and if you’re burning yourself out, so for example, I have I’ve had friends and clients where they start out, they want to work out two hours, three hours a day. They start out doing that and then they can’t go to the gym for the next week or two. It’s much more effective to start slow and build up, build momentum. And in terms of what you said in terms of using food, we can certainly go down that rabbit hole. So much of what we do is help our clients change their relationship with food and how they use food. But yeah, that’s a big part of what we focus on.

Brandon:
One thing that when I started working with you guys at MyBodyTutor that I guess like kind of changed a lot of how I thought about food in that relationship with it was every day I would have a bowl of ice cream before going to bed. Every single day I’d have ice cream before going to bed. And we kind of talked about this earlier about this idea of like saving up your indulgences or planning them and not just having a thing. But ice cream was just an everyday thing. And when I think back to it, my dad still to this day, my dad has a bowl of ice cream every single night. And when I’m talking in bowl, I mean like a mixing bowl of ice cream every single night.

Brandon:
And my family growing up, we’d buy the five quart pails of the Camp’s ice cream. And we’d buy two of those, three of those a week because this is what you do. And so I had this relationship with food where I just had it every night. I remember Matt who’s my specific body tutor, my specific coach. And he asked me the question early on, he said, “Why do you feel the need to have dessert every night?” And I was like, That’s just what everybody does. That’s just what people do.” And it was just that question asking that. I never even thought that that was not a normal thing. And maybe that’s probably is a normal thing, which is why majority of Americans are overweight.

Brandon:
But it was such a hard thing for me, emotionally to pull that away, to not have dessert every single night. And I was angry. I’m like, “screw you. I want my dessert every night. I deserve it. I worked hard today. I had a good hard day. I accomplished a lot. So I need to make myself feel better before night because I want this ice cream.” But as soon as I recognized that pattern, it started to change. And now today, I don’t even think about dessert before bed. I mean, once in a while, I’ll have dessert. Again, if it’s a special thing and sometimes I cheat there and we’ll have dessert, but it’s not an expected thing. So I don’t really know how that fits in here, but I just thought I’d like, that made a big impact on me as well.

Adam:
Yeah. I mean, listen, so much of our behavior is ingrained. We don’t think twice. It’s from growing up. It’s our parents. Whether it’s with money, whether it’s food, our for who have a scarcity mindset, an abundance mindset. That’s ingrained in us. And for you growing up, having dessert was part of life. And now, as you’re older, you have a ton of responsibility. You have a lot of things on your plate, no pun intended or actually pun intended, using ice cream is how you rewarded yourself at the end of the day. And one of the things we work on is, well, how else can you reward yourself? And listen, there’s nothing wrong with having dessert every night. But it goes back into this idea of negotiables versus non-negotiables. And if you were unwilling to change that, then we would work on the things you were willing to change. And that’s really important.

Brandon:
Yeah. That’s really good, man. Yeah. It reminds me of the consistency thing, how that works both ways, doesn’t it? To tell you the Compound Effect, you ever heard of that book? The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy? It’s one of my all time favorite books. And he gives a story of two people. And one of them just starts making little tiny changes in their life. They cut out one dessert a day, or I they cut out a latte, not about saving money, but about a little bit less of that, and they start working out just a little bit more and then they start reading just five more pages in a personal development or business book.

Brandon:
And the other person just starts eating just an extra handful of M&M’s at the office. Just one extra handful. It doesn’t do anything. And they do it every single day. And he basically makes this point that in the beginning, those two lines of that person’s life look pretty identical. There’s two people, identical situations, but over time, that consistency on a positive side and on a negative side result in drastically different person down the road. I mean like 50, 60 pound difference, health issue difference, the relationship, everything about their life, their business is more difficult because that compound effect or that consistency over time works both ways. And so what I learned from you is just this idea of just create a few more of those positive habits in your life and stick with them and maybe try to pull back a couple of the more difficult ones. It’s not about radical change. It’s about a consistent change.

Adam:
Yeah. I mean, what you’re kind of describing also it’s kind of like this idea of the state of inertia versus a state of momentum. And when you’re in a state of inertia, it’s really, really hard to get started. And you keep going down this other way. And when you’re in a state of momentum, when you make small little changes, it builds and builds and builds, right? I mean, think about how you started your businesses. You didn’t start where you are now, you started with a few decisions and slowly but surely you built it up. So the state of inertia versus state of momentum, I mean, you can go in two different ways. And my suggestion for those who feel like they’re in a state of inertia where they just are stuck taking that extra handful, whatever it might be, or they can’t do something differently with work: start small, don’t let the idea of small actions get in the way of consistency. Because so often we feel like if we can’t be perfect, or if we can’t do it all, whatever that means, we do nothing. And I always say all or nothing leads to nothing. So we’re much better off with an always something mindset. Always something versus all or nothing.

David:
So I’ve noticed one thing, Adam, with my own, well, two things that led to me as of late getting a little bit better shape. The first was COVID because it actually forced me to be home. And as soon as I was home, when everyone else was gaining weight, I actually started losing weight because I was eating food at home. What I was doing before, I was a real estate agent and I was jetting around from appointment to appointment. And I was eating around the other big rocks that were in my life, which always meant some form of fast food or gas station or something in between appointments. So that was a habit I picked up when I was a police officer working 20 hour days. And it just kind of kept going. So I sort of interrupted that pattern when I had to stay home. And then I realized, oh, this is actually easier than I thought. If the good food is there, I will eat it. I default to the bad. So that’s the first point I wanted to make.

David:
And the second one was because I was bored at home, I started exercising more. I just didn’t have anything else to do. And I feel like that actually contributed to help me break that pattern of eating a handful of M&M’s here or a candy bar there, or chips, whatever it was. The exercise made me not want to eat. And my whole life, I spent thinking exercise makes you lose weight. And so if you exercise, you could eat like crap and you’ll be fine. And I found that actually isn’t the truth. It seemed like exercise was ounces and your diet is pounds. So the diet has to be right, but exercise makes the diet easier. So those were two things I found that helped for me. Is that a one-off? Am I different or are a lot of people sort of in that same boat?

Adam:
No. I mean, that’s very, very common. So there’s no question. Exercise is a keystone habit. When you exercise, you typically feel good. And when you feel good, you’re likely to make choices that continue to make you feel good. On the flip side though, there is also this for people where they exercise and then what’s known as moral licensing. They feel like because they exercise, they’re entitled to eat indulgently or do something else. But for many people, once they start exercising, it helps them improve other behaviors. And then now that you’ve been home, clearly you’ve realized the power of making it easy to do what you really want to do and making it hard to do what you don’t want to do. So when you’re home and there’s healthy foods available, it’s much easier to do what you really want to do. And if you don’t have tempting foods around, of course, it’s much harder to do what you don’t want to do.

David:
The reason I’m bringing this up is I’m thinking there’s other people that are probably in a similar situation where I’m going to be having inertia in one direction or another. I’m probably not just ever going to be sitting still. If I start my day off with a run or go into the gym, or even a walk or something, some form of movement, I get varying degrees of dopamine or whatever it is that hit me, that made me feel good. That good buzz you get after you worked out, I don’t know how to describe it, but people say, you just feel good all day, that thing.

David:
The thought of fast food in that state is gross. It’s like, you’re going to kill that buzz that you just got and you don’t want it. And then you notice the minute you eat something bad, there’s like an emotional feeling of, oh, it smashes me. And I go down from being in a good mood. And I noticed that I get tired. I used to never notice that you’re just always tired. And then I don’t want to eat the bad food is what I’m getting at. It is easier to say no and make that decision that can be very difficult otherwise.

David:
If I don’t work out, I’m sort of like on this balance beam and it’s very easy. I walk in the office and someone has muffins or bagels or something, you eat one of them and you get boom smashed. And then you feel kind of good because you just ate junk food. And then in a couple hours, I go do it again. I don’t know what it is, but I go back to that same thing. And then I can’t get out of that cycle. And I spend the rest of the day, even if I do try to work out, I’m heavy, I got all this stuff in my stomach. I don’t really feel like doing it. I’m not excited about it. I’m pushing myself through. So for me, it’s that very, very first choice. If I start in one direction when I wake up, there’s like a 90% chance I’m going to stay in that direction. Is that a consistent pattern you’ve seen?

Adam:
Yeah. I mean, you’re clearly an all or nothing person where when you start the day, when you knock over that first pin in the morning, it helps you knock over all the other things. I always say we’re all juggling three to five critical balls throughout the day. And for me, my critical balls are eating well, exercising, sleeping, writing, and spending quality time with my family. So if I do those things, it enables me to do everything else. And if I don’t do those things, if one of those things drops, everything else that I want to do and have to do, doesn’t get done. So I structure my day around those five things, because it has such a huge impact on everything else.

Adam:
So for you, I think we should all embrace our nature. It doesn’t mean we can’t try to change it, but for you, you’re an all or nothing type person. I would structure my day no matter what, I’m going to do something first thing in the morning. Now the challenge for you might be, you might feel like, well, if I can’t go for a run, then I won’t do anything. And my challenge to you would be instead of all or nothing, always something, right? So let’s say you’re just really dreading running in the morning. I would say, you know what? Go for a 10 minute walk or go for a five minute walk or do something, always something instead of all or nothing.

David:
That’s really good. Brandon, can you make a t-shirt out of that all or something? That’s actually not a bad shirt idea. Instead of all or nothing, always something.

Adam:
Yes.

David:
Yeah. That’s going back to that principle of consistency that you’re talking about. And after we said it, my mind started thinking about all the ways that applies. So like Brandon and I just started jujitsu. And whenever I go to Hawaii, we roll and he has a consistent coach that shows up twice a week at his house. And I don’t, I inconsistently just plug it in whenever I can. So every time I show up there knowing that I’m going to be rolling with him and Tarou, I know they got ahead of me and my brain starts thinking, dude, they’re going to be better than you. You got to work harder. You have to be more intense to overcome your lack of consistency. And then I get there and I burn myself out in the first two minutes and they just destroy me for the rest of the time, because that intensity was a poor substitute for the consistency that I really need. And I’m seeing how, probably in many ways, if I’m inconsistent and I try to make up for it with intensity, it actually slows me down. And it makes it harder to be consistent. Instead, I should be thinking, okay, they’re going to be better than me. They’re going to beat you. How can you get something on your calendar so that the next time you come back, you have been training four times a week instead of two?

Adam:
Exactly right. Set yourself up to show up on a consistent basis. And again, if you’re pushing yourself too much, you’re going to burn out. And to your earlier point, no doubt as we like to say, diet is the key to weight loss and exercise is the key to stress relief, energy and a better mood. And just going back to you, it should be a non-negotiable every single morning you wake up, you’re going to do something. That’s the key.

Brandon:
Hey, on that note then, maybe it’s a good time to ask this question. Is it better for people who are like right now, they are not dieting well, they’re not exercising well, maybe neither one. What is more important, do you think? Is it getting their diet in correct first and then adding the workouts? If you had to choose one or the other, what do you is more vital right now?

Adam:
No doubt diet is most important. It’s 80%. It’s 80% of, diet is it’s about what, why and how we eat. And as you know, we focus way more just on what we eat. It’s about how and why we eat. So diet is the key to weight loss. Exercise, again is the key to energy, stress relief, and a better mood. So if you’re looking to change your body and lose weight, diet is definitely going to get you much greater results.

Brandon:
Maybe another way I can relate this back to real estate as well, but applies to all areas of life is I think about when new investors come to me and they say, I can’t find any real estate deals. I mean, everyone who listens to the show, Adam, you’ve heard me say this before. People go, I can’t find any real estate deals. What do I always ask? How many offers did you make last week? And then they’re always like, none. Okay. Well, how many deals did you analyze? How many properties did you find out exactly how much you should offer on it? And usually it’s zero or maybe one or two. I’m like, okay, well, how many leads did you get? How many people calling you saying, I want to sell my house did you get? Usually none, maybe a couple came from a real estate agent, whatever that thing is.

Brandon:
And so I always say like, look, we can work backwards and diagnose exactly what the problem is here. Because the results… Success should not be a surprise. Nobody ever woke up going, whoa, I got like $50 million of real estate today. That’s not a thing. Nobody got to become a billionaire. It was a shock to become a billionaire. Nobody become a millionaire was probably shocked except for a few lottery winners and nobody got a six pack or lost 20 pounds surprised. There are actions that we take consistently that should give the results. I always like to say success shouldn’t be a surprise. That’s kind of another t-shirt that I want to make someday. Success should not be a surprise. It should just be the natural result. In fact, you should be surprised not to get success based on what you did.

Brandon:
But the key there, and it relates back to what we talked about a long time ago, or this is a long interview. So earlier on this show, where people spend a lot of time doing the wrong things. For example, every day, they’re eating crap. They’re having a Starbucks latte with like 450 calories in it and 80 grams of sugar. And they’re doing that twice a day and then they’re adding this and then these little things that add up throughout the day and yeah, they’re going to the gym, but they can’t figure out whether or not losing the weight or they’re whatever. And so it’s like a real estate person saying, oh yeah. I mean, I’ve been investing, I’ve been looking at deals on realtor.com or on Zillow all week. Well, yeah, but that’s not going to get you there. So what can you speak to that in terms of the right consistent action? What is the right consistent action to do?

Adam:
Well, I think it’s really important to start with an objective. So what are you trying to get closer to? And if you don’t have a clear objective, if you don’t have a clear, defined vision, then you have no idea if you’re going in the right direction. So if it’s business, you have a clear objective and you know where you want to go. If it’s fitness, you have your clear objective and you know where you want to go. So you have to understand and you have to measure if you’re moving closer or further away, or if you’re just staying the same. So to me, I think it starts with having a clear objective.

Brandon:
Yeah. That’s awesome, man. I love that. Anything else on this rule number three, before we move on to rule number four?

Adam:
I think that’s it.

Brandon:
All right. So what is rule number four?

Adam:
So rule number four is do what scares you until it doesn’t. And one of my kind of personal philosophies and something we try to teach our clients is discomfort is our compass. And what I mean by that is if you do what you’ve always done, it’s going to feel comfortable. If you do what you’ve always done, it’s going to feel comfortable by nature. And if you do something differently, it’s going to feel uncomfortable by nature. And the key thing to remember is what’s easy now was once hard and what’s hard now will soon be easy. But if you let discomfort be your compass, then you’ll eventually get to where you want to be. As we know, discomfort often is the barrier between where we are now and where we want to go.

Brandon:
That’s so good. That’s another t-shirt or that’s not a t-shirt, just discomfort is our compass. We’re going to have so many t-shirts after this and it’s going to be great. That relates so much back to what I said earlier about the ice cream every night. It was so much discomfort for me to say, I’m not going to have dessert every single night. I’m not going to reward myself that

Brandon:
It’s comfort for me to say, I’m not going to have dessert every single night. That I’m not going to reward myself that way, but now that’s totally normal, but it was discomfort, but it told me that was the right path I should go on because it was the harder one. It was the one that I had to make a harder choice on. So, yeah discomfort is the compass. David question for you then. For a real estate investor, what do you see as what are those discomfort things that you see, that are actually good, that people should be using and moving toward?

David:
Like, what are the things that like habits that stop people from being successful?

Brandon:
Yeah, more like, what are the habits that are hard that they should be doing, but they’re not because, or the things that they should be doing that are hard. I’ll give you one example, with just like networking, right. Like it’s uncomfortable to go to a meet-up and meet people. But like that’s where a lot of success is found. Can you think of any more?

David:
Yeah, a huge one telling people in your personal sphere, this is what I’m looking for. Really like, and people do this when they get their license also. They become agents and it’s the same funnel. Now you’ve got to go lead generate. Look for what you want. You’re an agent, you want buyers and sellers. You’re an investor, you want properties. They always, like agents would go knock on doors of complete strangers in 90 degree heat and try to get a stranger to let them sell their house. Then go to their sister or their best friends, people that their, their coworkers, people that like them. And those are the people that are way more likely to actually care about you being successful.

David:
So, there’s something about not maybe wanting to acknowledge that my identity is a real estate investor that stops people from, you should be telling your aunts and your cousins and your coworkers, people that you come across every single day. You want it drilled in their head. When you guys hear about somebody passing away or a problem property that someone doesn’t know what to do with, call me. I want to be the first phone call you get. And instead, they’d rather spend a bunch of money to make a website or get business cards made and hand them out to strangers and hope something happens. I think that’s one habit that just absolutely shoots people in the foot.

Adam:
I think this discomfort gets such a bad rap, right? It’s just, you know, there’s a gazillion dollar industry in terms of drugs of trying to minimize pain and discomfort. But again, it’s just a feeling right, with drugs, right? It’s just a feeling though. Discomfort is our compass and I think the more comfortable you can get with it, the more successful you’ll be. There is no question about it. You know, I always use the analogy of like jumping in a pool, right. So someone who’s fearful of swimming, they’re going to do everything, but jump in the pool, right? So they’re going to hire a swimming instructor. They’re going to find the best pool. They’re going to look online or whatever to find the cool bathing suit. They’re going to find goggles. Eventually you just got to jump in the pool. And the truth is it’s not all that bad, right. Especially if you have support and you have a team around you.

Adam:
Even if it’s not, you know, one of my favorite personal mantras is the monster is never as scary as it seems. It’s something my mom always told me. It’s like, I think it just resonates for every part of my life. Like I was scared to go to middle school, to high school, to college. It’s the monster is never as scary as it seems, right and I always say that to myself and it’s true. It’s often the anticipation of something is way worse than the actual event itself, right? So for you, the idea of not having ice cream was way worse than actually, you know what? It’s not that bad. Or maybe I’ll have something else instead, or maybe it’s cold calling someone, or maybe it’s going to a networking event. And it’s like, you know what? It’s actually isn’t that bad. We build it up in her head. The monster is never as scary as it seems.

Brandon:
Man, you got the wrong, you went in the wrong business line. You should have been a t-shirt maker. I’m telling you, you got so many good, these phrases are so good. I love it.

David:
One thing I’ve noticed Adam about the monster is never as scary as it seems, is that whenever you’re in that initial, okay, I know I want to do this, but I’m just, I know I should jump in the pool, but I’m just afraid. Oftentimes taking that jump with somebody else really, really helps. If there’s someone that walks into jujitsu with you for the first time, or for me, it was going to the weight room. I was incredibly skinny. That’s kind of hard to believe now, but I was very insecure. I didn’t want to be the skinny guy in the room full of strong guys, trying to figure how a machine works. So my friend went with me once or twice, just showed me how the machines work. Showed me what your forms should look like and that was enough. I was, I was off and I was running.

David:
Oftentimes I’ve just found that a lot of people don’t want to take that plunge alone. Do you have advice when it comes to like this realm of diet and fitness and focusing on good habits where if you can get somebody else to do it with you in the start and get some inertia going, some momentum, you’ll probably just keep going on your own.

Adam:
Yeah, I mean I think you said it. If you have people around you, whether it’s a friend or a trusted advisor or a coach or whatever it is, having someone else there to have a towel wide open for you ready when you’re out of the pool and say, you know what? That wasn’t so bad, right? It’s a game changer. You know, I think so many people are obsessed with DIY, like do it yourself and these are the same people that are jogging in place, so to speak, year after year. Whether it’s in business or fitness, right? There’s so much pride that I did it myself. But just because you want to do it yourself, doesn’t mean you have to do it all by yourself.

Adam:
You know and this kind of goes into my next rule, but you know, not to jump the gun too much, but the most successful people I know by far have teams and have people helping them, right. They have coaches. So, I think it’s a mindset adjustment saying, you know what? There’s no shame in asking for help. In fact, it’s actually silly to not ask for help because I’m remaining stuck.

Brandon:
That’s really good. Hey, you know what? I want to [inaudible 00:55:27] one more kind of anecdote to what we’re talking about here with this rule about discomfort. Recently, my kid, it was a couple of months ago, my kid got sick. Like just like got a fever and it was like 101 or a 100.5 or something like that. Like a little bit rough up there, right. And my wife asked the doctor, like, should we give him some Tylenol or Advil, or children’s Tylenol, or whatever? And he said, actually you do that you’ll prolong the sickness. Now again, I’m not a doctor, I’m not giving doctor advice here. So, don’t just like, not give your kid medicine, but he said, if you do that, you’ll knock his fever down a little bit. But the fever is what’s killing the virus that’s in him. Whatever the problem is right now, the fever is killing it.

Brandon:
So it’s better to let them sweat it out, unless he’s really uncomfortable, like to the point of like pain and suffering, like let them sweat it out a little bit. And I just think that’s so true for life sometimes. It’s like, it’s that discomfort that forges our identity, that forges our skill set, that forges our character. I mean, that’s like a, what a biblical thing, right? They’re like, the tribulation brings perseverance and perseverance brings character, or whatever that progression is. And I think we often, yeah, we just try to find the fastest way out of doing anything. Like, well, I’ll find somebody else to analyze the deals for me. I’ll find somebody else to talk to the real estate agents for me. I don’t want to go through the pain, so I’m going to find another way out of it, but sometimes it’s just best to go through it and just build that character.

Adam:
I think you’re going to like this. This might be another t-shirt actually. So think about in your life, the times when we feel most powerful, is always after doing something uncomfortable, right? It’s always after doing some something uncomfortable. Whether it’s jujitsu, weightlifting, doing a public speech, reaching out to someone. It’s always after doing something uncomfortable. We never feel powerful after doing something easy, right? And we all want to feel strong and powerful. So sometimes also when you think about, hey, you know what, on the other side of discomfort, I’m going to get to feel awesome. I’m going to get to feel strong and powerful. It makes it a little easier too.

Brandon:
Yeah, nobody ever said coming out of a gym, oh, I wish I wouldn’t have worked out today. Like nobody says that, right. Every time I’ve ever gone to the gym or jujitsu or anything, every time I’m like, dang I’m glad I did that today. I didn’t want to, I was irritated and it was in my busy part of my day, but I did not want to. So, I love that point. Well, what about speaking of busy. What about those people who would say I’m just too busy to eat healthy, to work? I’m too busy. I’m too tired, I’m too stressed. Like what do you say to those people?

Adam:
Well, there’s two things to that. Number one, it all really boils down to FDR as I call it. Fear, discomfort, and resistance, right? When you kind of come up with these rationalizations, it often comes down to, if you boil it down to whether it’s, again, fitness or business. It’s fear, discomfort, or resistance, FDR. So, if you can diagnose exactly what you’re feeling and get to the root of it, it becomes a lot easier. So, that’s number one.

Adam:
And number two, when people say and tell me they’re too busy to focus on their health. I always challenge them to reframe it because I say, listen, you have too much responsibility to not be the best version of yourself, right? You have too much going on to not be the best version of yourself. Versus I’m so stressed, I’m just going to give in. I’m just going to do whatever I want, right. So I always challenge them to reframe it to, I have too much going on to not be the best version of myself. Because of course, when you take care of yourself, when you invest in you time, it helps you do everything better.

Brandon:
Yeah, that’s so good. You know one thing people often say I’m too busy for stuff. I’ve even said it many times in my life. I’m too busy. I’m too busy, but the reality is like, we have time for something in our life, right? So what I always try to reframe that is, instead of saying I’m too busy, I try to change it to, it’s not a priority. So, if I say I’m too busy to play with my kid, really what I should be saying is it’s not a priority for me to play with my kid. It’s not a priority for me to work out. It’s not a priority for me and at least then I’m being honest. Because that’s the honest truth, is it’s not a priority, but when you reframe it like that, it changes your mindset to go, no, it is a priority. So why don’t I treat it that way? And yeah, fitness, health, the gym, like all those things that I want to say I’m too busy for, it really puts in to perspective.

Adam:
Yeah, I think that’s a great point. And it’s not so easy to say I’m too busy, or playing with my kids is not a priority, but when you boil it down, you break that down. Especially with health and fitness in business, if someone says, being financially free is not a priority, or my health isn’t a party. I mean, no one, everyone values their health. Everyone values, everyone listening to this wants to be financially free. So then I would encourage you to say, all right, well, what is it really? What’s holding you back? It’s probably fear, discomfort or resistance if you really break it down.

David:
You know Brandon that I’m thinking about when it comes to fear, comfort, and resistance, those are the enemies. And you’re so dead on. I mean every single thing in my life I’m not doing that I think would be cool if I could do, is absolutely one of those things that stops it. So it can’t just be me. Part of what we’ve talked about on Bigger Pockets is get financially free, so that you don’t have to do the things you don’t like to do anymore. And I’m wondering if there, if people are buying into that mindset, the reason they are pursuing the goal of financial independence is because they’re thinking, oh, I won’t have to do hard things at work anymore. Or I won’t have to deal with expectations that I can’t meet or I won’t have to wake up. Well, maybe that’s a bad example. I won’t have to do something with my day. I won’t have to have any structure, discipline or consistency. And if you’re pursuing your goal for the reasons that would stop you from being able to actually achieve it. Have you thought about that before Brandon?

Brandon:
Yeah, that’s interesting. I think, yeah, it’s kind of like, I want to quit my job so I can just sit around and relax all the time. Those people are never the ones that actually achieve that.

David:
That’s exactly right.

Brandon:
It’s super interesting. Yeah, it’s that the people who, anybody who can achieve financial freedom, won’t take financial freedom. Like any of the three of us could probably just sit back right now and work five hours a week or two hours a week or whatever and we can do it. And you know, our businesses would survive and thrive probably still, but that, we’re just not wired that way. Like we’ve like, it’s not about, it’s not like, it’s like saying I’m going to diet so that I don’t have to diet the last half of my life. Like that would be a ridiculous thing, right?

David:
Or I want to exercise so I can eat whatever I want, at any time.

Brandon:
Yeah, yeah.

David:
Right, if you think that way, then you’re not going to go exercise and you’re never going to get to that point.

Brandon:
Yeah.

David:
Adam, what do you think what’s your experience with?

Adam:
Yeah, there’s no question. I mean, it kind of reminds me, it’s like, I try to be a very intentional parent and it’s like people who read parenting books, the number one reason why those types of people are better parents is because they care about it. It’s not necessarily, I mean, of course the books matter, but anyone who is willing to read a book on parenting clearly is very intentional on being a good parent. Anyone who is thinking about these types of things, yes, they’re going to likely get to where they want to be. I, yeah, I totally agree.

David:
Yeah, that’s so good, man.

Brandon:
All right, well let’s maybe move on to rule number five then, and then we’ll go to, I got a few questions on like, what if this [inaudible 01:02:21] wrong, but let’s hit number five first.

Adam:
Yeah, I mean, listen, not to toot my own horn, but there’s no doubt, getting a coach and getting accountable is a game changer, right? I mean, you experienced it with us, but it’s also, again, it’s not just in fitness, it’s business, right? When you have supportive people, when you have an expert coach who can get you out of your own way, who can help you see your blind spots. Who can help you change your mindset, it’s a game changer. You know, getting accountability and coaching could, you know, is the difference between sometimes success and not.

Brandon:
A hundred percent. They did this study. I talked about it in one of the speeches I gave at BP, maybe it was BPCON. Maybe was another conference I went to. Anyway, there’s a study, I think it was like Dominican University did it, where they grab people and they divide them into like five different groups. Like people who had a goal and I think it was to lose weight or workout. It was a fitness thing, but it applies to everything in life. And it was like those people, they just, they were going to do it. The next group, they were going to do it and they set a goal. The next group, they were going to do it, they set a goal and then they kept track of their progress. And then the next group was, they did all those things, but they also told a friend that they were going to do it.

Brandon:
And the last group was, they told the friend, but they had weekly accountability with that friend. And the difference between accomplishing the goal between the first group in the last, I think it was like 37%. And like, I don’t know, 89 or 92, it was like drastic. It was like basically three times higher for the people who went through that whole process. Like they had a vision, they wrote down where they wanted to go, they kept track of their progress, so they had the consistency. They made their thing public, what they were trying to do. And then they got the accountability.

Brandon:
And just shows that accountability if anything, we talk about this at Bigger Pockets all the time, about having mastermind groups. Getting together every week or every couple of weeks with a group of people like this has been an integral part of my life and integral part of David’s life. I would say, David, are there like a lot of successful people you can think of? I mean like the real estate investors that we know that are super high level, who don’t have either a performance coach or a mastermind group or something like that? I mean, I can’t think of a single one. Like everybody has some sort of accountability in their life that gets to that level.

David:
The only people that don’t, there’s a small handful. Are people who are naturally driven to great lengths. And every time you get to know that person, you find that there is an ocean of pain inside of them that drives to be like, I will never go back to where I was before. And it’s usually that, I also say, they only have success in like one area of life that got them out of that pain. They’re never well-rounded. So you might know a person that has like a hundred properties, like where did this person come from? But they’re socially weird. They don’t have a big social life. They’re usually not in great shape. They’re not crushing it in any area other than that one area where they had an intense pain. The people that are having like a, I was just talking to our buddy Andrew Cushman about Sam Wegert, one of our GoBundance buddies.

David:
And he went through martial arts when he was young and did very, very good. Then he started opening up studios or academies. Then he started franchising and he’s like 28 years old now and the dudes making, I think he’s grossing 100K a month in rental income from the different investments that he has. Sam is one of those guys that’s good at a lot of different things. He has this well-rounded life because he’s taken the principles from one area and he’s applied them to the others, but he’s plugged in to, like you said, a group, a mastermind. Everyone expects that Sam will be fit. If Sam gained weight, there’s like a hundred people that would be like, what’s going on at poking him in the stomach. Like there’s no way he could possibly lose it. So yeah, to your point, the few examples that I can think of that are not in a group, are usually, you would never want to trade places with that person. They went through so much hell to get to the point where they could drive themselves out of that place and it’s only in that one area that they’re successful.

Brandon:
Yeah, Adam, why does accountability work so well? Like, having somebody that you’re reporting to, like why? I mean maybe it goes back to the willpower than we talked about earlier, but like, why am I so much better eating good when I know that Matt, my tutor is going to see it versus what I’m just doing it on my own?

Adam:
Yeah, I mean a few things. I mean, number one, it’s just very easy to rationalize to ourselves, right? It’s very easy to tell ourselves, I’ll start fresh tomorrow. I’ll start fresh on Monday. And number two, it’s very easy to break promises to yourself, but it’s a lot harder to break promises to other people. And you know, we’re constantly letting ourselves down, but when you have someone else in the picture who you don’t want to let down, it changes everything. So, it’s all about expectations, right? If you constantly meet external expectations. So if you feel bad letting people down, accountability is great for you. And if you are feel like you’re always letting yourself down, you’re a perfect candidate for accountability.

Brandon:
That’s so good. Yeah, I call it the Monday principle. And it’s this idea that people will constantly will, whether it’s, I mean, it happens all the time with food, right? Is you screw up something and you’re like, well, I’ll work out on Monday. I’ll start back up again on Monday. I’ll start back on my real estate goals on Monday and it might be Tuesday. So, it’s going to be like six more days. There’s one thing I like about having like daily accountability. Now that’s not always reasonable for everybody in the world to have daily accountability with their business. You’re not meeting with your mastermind group every day. Though I guarantee you, if you were, you’d be so much more super productive and your business would grow faster, but it just, it’s hard to fit it in. But it’s one thing like, I might have a bad day with food.

Brandon:
Like I might just fly off the handle and go eat a huge ice cream sundae because I wanted to and whatever. That happens, but then like I reported that night and I let Matt know, and then I wake up the next morning and I got this message like, “Hey man, saw you I had that thing. What can we do next time to make sure that if you’re in that same stressful situation that doesn’t happen again?” And those questions, like, he’s never yelling at me like what a moron. Right, but it’s just the questions that are like, what can we do that doesn’t happen again. And then that day I’m back on again. So I don’t have to wait until Monday. I don’t have to wait until the new year. I don’t have to wait until the next quarter because it’s this daily accountability, which I’m a big fan of.

Adam:
Well, thank you. I mean, listen, there’s no question. I mean, accountability is the glue that ties commitment to result. And again, without it, it’s too easy to rationalize to ourselves. It’s too easy to say, screw it I already messed up. I’ll start fresh Monday or tomorrow. I had a client tell me she was trying to start fresh on Monday for the last 20 years. And she finally said, you know what? I need some help. I need accountability. And you know, it was a game changer for her.

Brandon:
Yeah, man. I love it. Yeah, huge piece of my life in a lot of areas. I mean, I have performance coaches. I have the jujitsu coach. I have the, my body tutor that I use. I use all these different areas of my, I mean, I even like I have my own intention journal I fill out every morning and once a week. All of those things are designed to keep me present and like present with my goals. Present with what I actually want in life. It’s crazy that we have like these two lives in our heads, isn’t it? Where there’s like this one life that you have, you’re like, I want to feel good. I want to look good. I want to have money. I want to be a good father and a good husband, a good wife, a good mother, daughter, whatever.

Brandon:
Like you want to, you have this ideal version that very much wants to be that person. And this other person is like, no, I don’t want that at all. I just want to eat cake. Like right and like watch TV or TikTok all day. And I am so much more, like I naturally want to be the one that eats cake and plays with TikTok all day. So by having accountability, it reminds me of who my true self is. And my true self is the one that is fighting for, to become a better person. It’s like that old anecdote that we’ve probably all heard before about, inside of us there’s two wolves. There’s a light wolf and a dark wolf or whatever and then they’re fighting for your soul. And the question is, well which one wins? And it’s the one that you feed.

Brandon:
And so accountability is feeding the, I don’t even know what you call that, part of you that’s more right and true with how you actually are. Like your true identity and David, maybe this goes into our topic we’ve been talking a lot about identity. Is you kind of are, you have two warring identities within yourself. And the one that wins is the one that you feed and that you hold accountable to. So I don’t know. I think that’s a fascinatingly deep topic we could spend an hour on, but I like it.

Adam:
That duality is unbelievable and it’s super fascinating. And I call it, you know, we all have this inner voice. That inner voice that says, eat cake, watch TikTok don’t do anything productive, right? And I think you, I mean, you articulated it beautifully, when you have accountability, you create this other voice, right? You create this, almost I created, it’s almost like a having a soundtrack, right? Imagine having the Rocky soundtrack in your head all the time to counter that inner voice that says, watch the TikTok, eat the cake, et cetera. So when you develop that strong inner voice to counter that other inner voice, it changes everything for sure.

Brandon:
Yeah, really good. Well, okay, let’s talk, before we get out of here, about what if things go wrong? Like you’re trying to lose weight, you just can’t do it. You’re struggling with this. Like what do you do when those things go wrong or you have problems in your fitness journey or in your just life journey?

Adam:
Yeah, I mean, listen, I think, you know there’s always going to be challenges and hiccups on any worthwhile journey, as I said. I mean, usually it comes down to a few things. Number one, it’s you’re just feeling too overwhelmed and you feel like you just don’t have time for this. And again, I think it’s really important to go back to your vision. And I think it can sound very hokey and very cheesy, or I need a vision, but again, having a compelling vision makes it easier to stay the course, right? It makes it easier to show up, even when you don’t feel like showing up. It makes it easier to say, you know what? These are important things. These are my core anchors, my core balls that you’re juggling. When I do these, it’s going to help me do everything else.

Brandon:
That’s really good. All right, so you’re feeling too overwhelmed with everything. I know I’ve been there before. That’s also why in real estate, in business, we talk about like, just doing like focusing more. Building fewer bridges, doing less things, but doing them better. I mean, that’s a huge piece of like the essentialism with Greg McKeown, who wrote Essentialism, it’s like doing less but better. And that helps me feel less overwhelmed. Do you feel the same? Is that how this applies?

Adam:
Yeah, absolutely. No question, no question about it.

David:
I have a completely unrelated question. Well, that completely unrelated, but it’s a little off the topic and I really want Adam’s opinion on this. One of the things that we often criticize are the people who post pictures of their body on Instagram or Facebook or whatever, specifically get attention because they’ve done a good job. And it’s very easy to say, oh, they’re just looking for attention. And I’m not saying that we should stop criticizing them because I’m not sure where I stand on that. What I am asking is, do you think, Adam, part of the reason they do that is they are continually reinforcing themselves with like, look, I should stay on this path because I did good and I want to get attention for it?

Adam:
I have a lot of thoughts on social media and posting pictures, but we won’t discuss that. There is no doubt they’re creating this identity of themselves. And once they create this identity, it makes it easier to live up to this identity over and over and over again, right. So they have this identity there they’re clearly trying to create and portray online and they are going to make sure their actions align with their identity.

David:
So it does maybe make it easier for them to feed that specific wolf and that’s part of the reason that people do it?

Adam:
We’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say, yes, absolutely.

David:
Okay, because there’s clearly other things they’re feeding and I recognize that. I just didn’t want to go too far down that path. I’m just trying to figure out, is there a little bit of, they do this because it makes it easier to eat better and to make sure they go to the gym because they’re going to get some hit from everybody seeing how great they’re doing.

Adam:
No question. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

David:
So, I’m curious for, go ahead Brandon.

Brandon:
Oh, I was saying, I find that in my own life a little bit. Like the fact that I’m, like why I went to jujitsu the first time is because I talked about it here on this podcast. I said I’m going to do it and Jocko Willink was like, you’re going to do it. And I’m like, I’m going to do it, right. So I feel like I shifted my identity a little bit. Now, I don’t put pictures of myself with my shirt off on the internet very often, but, or at all, but that definitely I can see that playing a piece. It’s like getting that kind of public accountability. That said, I am curious, and I do want more of these questions, but I’m curious. What are your thoughts, Adam, on the public idea of like posting a picture of your shirt off?

Brandon:
What are your thoughts, Adam, on the public idea of posting a picture of your shirt off and saying, “All right, I need to change my life. I’m overweight. I’m going to lose 30 pounds. This is my accountability post,” does that work on social media to do something like that? Or saying, “I’m going to go buy a real estate deal in the next 30 days. You watch me.” Does that work?

Adam:
Yeah. There’s no doubt the first few pounds are always exciting. The first few calls, the first few times, you get your business card, you set up your website for business, those are always the most exciting. Everyone’s there to clap you on, cheer you on. But what happens after the first few pounds? What happens after the first deal? That’s where the real magic happens. Typically, those people who do those types of posts find themselves fairly lonely. Because again, everyone wants to cheer for the new person on the block, whether it’s in real estate, business, fitness. But typically, it doesn’t last, because they’re onto the next thing. Unfortunately, weight loss and fitness and business success is not a hammer hitting plate glass. It’s about the accrued power of thousands of choices over, and over, and over again.

Brandon:
So good, man. All right, what else we got here for problems? You’re too overwhelmed with everything, so we talked about that. What else do you got for problems? I know you got a couple-

Adam:
The next one is you’re not feeling motivated or committed anymore. Typically, what I find is a lack of motivation or a lack of commitment really stems down to a lack of hope. My formula for hope, and this applies to business and fitness, of course. Everything we’re talking about here is really very simple. Number one, it’s having a clear and defined goal. Number two, it’s having a pathway to reach your goal. And number three, it’s believing you can actually follow the pathway. Clear and defined goal, having a pathway and believing you can follow the pathway.

Adam:
What happens so often is, we start these crazy plans or these crazy regimens or these crazy ideas and we don’t believe we can follow it for more than a few weeks. Subconsciously or consciously, we give up. We don’t feel hopeful. Then we lose the motivation or we lose the feeling of commitment. So it’s really important that you believe you can follow the pathway, whatever pathway you’re following, whether again, it’s business or fitness.

Brandon:
Really good. All right. [inaudible 01:17:13] Next, what else? What other problems do you see coming up on people’s lives when they’re trying to change their life?

Adam:
We alluded to this before. It’s just that F it mentality. It’s like, if I can’t be perfect or I already messed up, why bother? This is a very, very common thing. There’s no doubt, it’s a perfectionist mentality. I think it’s really important to allow yourself the humanity to be less than perfect, because guess what? We’re not robots. We’re not robots. To expect perfection is like chasing the wind. You’re never going to catch it. It’s far more effective to go 80% or allow yourself a chance to actually win the day, then aim for a hundred percent only to burn out. The truth is, one of the reasons why people aim for perfection is it’s an easy way out, because it’s like, all right, well, I started, I tried, I did it. And then they’re onto the next thing. Whereas, the real work and the real magic is getting through those uncomfortable times and getting through that initial excitement period, when that motivation wanes.

Brandon:
That principle of getting through, I call it the trench. It was a joke I started because of Scott Trench, the CEO of BiggerPockets. But I call it the trench, which is every business, every fitness plan, every goal that people have, it starts with, “I’m super excited!” Your momentum, your motivation, everything’s so high. Then it drops. It goes way lower than where you even started. You’re down and like, “This sucks. I don’t like this anymore.” You come to a webinar that I teach on BiggerPockets. I’m like, “This is what financial freedom is. This is what you can do. You can travel the world. You can surf and be with your family.” And everyone’s like, “Woo, I love it!”

Brandon:
Then they start analyzing deals. For a week or two, they’re like, “Oh, I’m running the numbers.” And they’re getting it. They go to an open house. And then they watch a little bit of TikTok or they’re watching some Netflix or they got busy with life. Then pretty soon they’re in that trench, where they haven’t seen the reward yet, because it takes a while to get that reward. And so the immediate excitement’s gone. They haven’t come up the other side of the trench. There just in the bottom of the trench. That could be a book in itself, just getting through that trench. If you can get through that to the other side, that’s where success is.

Brandon:
I often say Josh Dorkin, who founded BiggerPockets almost 20 years ago, he’s the best, and I say this over, and over, and over, he’s the best entrepreneur I know. Not because he’s a genius. He is a genius. But not because of that. Not because he’s great at managing people and hiring and all that, which he is. It’s because he stuck with it through the trench for 15 years or whatever, 10 years before he even hired his very first person, me. And because of that, of making no money for 5, 10, 15 years, that got him the results. It’s like people who achieve the body that they want, they get through that trench. The business they want, they get through that trench. The relationship they want, they get through that trench. I think that if people just understood that principle, just so many lives would be changed.

David:
There’s something I’ve always… Oh, sorry, Adam, go ahead.

Adam:
No. I was just going to say very quickly, and going back to one of the rules, I think one of the secrets to getting through that trench is having accountability, having support, having a coach. Because we know those trenches are inevitable. They are absolutely inevitable. I think some people think they’re not going to be there. But they are inevitable, so you might as well plan and prepare for them.

David:
That is very close to the comment that I was going to make. Brandon, you mentioned three things there. You have this initial excitement, like, “I’m going to do this thing! And it feels like fun and exciting.” And like Adam said, the first few pounds are easy. Then you hit a trench. It’s very difficult. You don’t get results. You’re basically just doing the thing over, and over, and over, whether it’s going to [jiu jitsu 01:36:58] class, trying to change your diet, trying to work out and you just suck at it and there’s no ROI. Then you get to the other side. You have these three stages. I’ve always looked at that initial excitement phase, the people who mess up are the ones who say in their head, “I will do this as long as it’s exciting and easy and fun.” And when it stops being that, they drop off, “Oh, I guess, it’s not for me. It’s not fun anymore.”

David:
The people that do well recognize that excitement phase as a gift. It’s like when you’re teaching Rosie to swing and you give her the first push. Then after that, she has to kick her feet and keep going. They use that initial push to build the habits and the systems that they will need to be sustainable, because that’s hard. Jiu jitsu is really hard when you’re in the grind. It’s maybe fun the first couple of times you go. That’s where you really need to find accountability partners. Find people that are going to keep you going to class. Sign up to go to class. Put it in your schedule. Get enough going that when it stops being fun, you have these habits that are in place that you will keep doing it, that will get you through the trench. That’s what Adam had said. You’re going to go into a trench, so you have to be ready. Don’t look at that initial excitement like that’s the way it’s supposed to be all the time.

David:
I think in relationships, it’s probably very similar. You meet someone. You fall in love. You’re like, “This is the best thing that’s ever happened!” Then when that initial thing wears off, you’re like, “Oh, I just need to find a new person.” No, that initial this-is-the-best-thing-ever was meant to build that bond and these habits that keep your relationship healthy. Then you actually get into a real relationship where you think about other things. You actually remember you’re supposed to eat. And you go to work. And you make money. If it was exciting like that all the time, we would die. You’d never do anything other than focus on that. Do you think I’m way off there? Or do you guys agree that that might be the best approach?

Adam:
I love the idea of thinking about that initial excitement as a gift, because it is. There’s no doubt the most successful people know that it’s going to wane and that it’s going to go away. That’s when the voice in your head, that inner voice we talked about, gets louder and louder. It’s going to say, “Do I really want to do this? Is this really worth it? Do I really want to stay up until 2:00 AM? Do I really want to make that cold call?” That voice in your head is going to get a lot louder as time goes on, as the excitement wanes. That’s super important to really be aware of that and prepare for it. So I think you’re right on the money.

Brandon:
That’s so good, man. All right. Well, we’ve got to start wrapping things up. Anything else you want to cover in problems? Anything else that holds people back? Or should we move on to the wrap?

Adam:
I think we should talk about self-sabotage quickly, just because I think it’s so powerful. Self-sabotage, of course, applies to every worthwhile goal. I’m sure this is so common for your listeners and viewers and all that. They listen to the podcast. They buy the courses. They buy the books. They attend the seminars, all sorts of things. But for some reason they’re not making progress. My definition of self-sabotage is when you fear the very thing you’re trying to accomplish. You fear the very thing you’re trying to accomplish.

Adam:
Here’s what I mean. Let’s take a typical business owner. A typical business owner feels like they have the weight of the world on their shoulders. They feel like they have zero free time. They feel like they have a ton of responsibility. And they feel like they’ve no time for themselves. They just feel all these things. So on some level they feel like if they grow their business or if they move the needle forward, they’re going to have less free time. They’re going to have more responsibility, more headaches, more pains in the butts, all sorts of things. So on some level they’re attending all these courses, buying the books, getting coaches, et cetera, deep down, they feel like their life is actually going to be worse off than better off.

Adam:
The key to overcoming self-sabotage is understanding how your life will be better. When you can truly understand how life will be better, then you can overcome self-sabotage. There’s a very simple framework and exercise I came over with to do it. Number one is, how do you think your life will be worse off? Really articulate it. Really write it down. How is life going to be worse off? I don’t know, maybe you’ll say I’ll have less free time. Or if you bring it back to a dieter, I’ll never be able to eat my favorite foods again. So you write out five of those. Then you write out how your life will be better off. Then you challenge those assumptions, because so much of what we do is we create these assumptions and these false beliefs to protect us so we can stay where we are. Because as we know, it’s much easier to stay where we are than to move forward. What do you think about that?

Brandon:
That’s so good. That’s really good. You fear the very thing you’re trying to accomplish. I wrote that down. And I started thinking, where in my life am I doing that? Man, yeah, multiple areas. Go ahead.

David:
I’ll say that I think that’s one of the reasons accountability works. Because if you leave it up to David, I may sabotage myself, because I think I don’t deserve that. I may sabotage myself, because I have unresolved hurt from when I was nine that I don’t know about and I’m mad at my mom or my dad. So I’m going to hurt myself to get back at them. That’s motivating me. And I’m not aware that it’s even happening. I don’t see my own blind spots. But if I got to go to Brandon, he’s put his endorsement on me and he says, “Dude, why are you slipping? I need you here,” all of my BS just goes out the window. I don’t care anymore. I’m letting him down. Or I’m embarrassed in front of Brandon. And making that decision becomes very clear and very easy.

David:
Imagine if you had nine or ten Brandons in your life that you did not want to let down, that looked at you the way you should look at yourself, that loved you the way that you should love yourself, that expected more of you and you didn’t want to let them down. I think that’s the key, is when I withdraw from everyone else and I try to do it on my own, which most of us do, because we don’t want people seeing our flaws, we don’t want people seeing where we suck. As everybody listens to this, they’re thinking, “I’d like to do that, but I would fail because of all these reasons,” we failed for more reasons than you did that. All of us on this thing have those same issues. But it just makes it easier for me to get out of my own way when there’s other people there.

Adam:
Just to go back to a tactical thing. Say for example, you guys in your business, let’s say you feel like you’re self-sabotaging, because you feel like more success is actually more responsibility and worse off, not better off life. What I would challenge you to do is, put the systems and put the people in place so that you can handle the growth so that when you do grow, life will be better, not worse. So that’s a tactical thing in order to overcome self-sabotage. And if you’re self sabotaging with your diet, again, really think about why you think your life will be worse off and challenge those assumptions. The number one thing for dieters is always, “I feel like I’m going to have to be in the gym for hours a day,” or, “I feel I’m never going to be able to get my favorite foods.” And as you know, that’s just not true.

Brandon:
It’s not true at all. I think that’s probably one of the biggest myths when it comes to getting in shape, is that it’s going to require you to sacrifice everything in your life. And it’s going to be a worse life. By challenging that assumption and you realize that’s just not always the case, all of a sudden, then you’re more likely to avoid the self-sabotage. Get the life that you want. So good. All right, man. This has been fantastic. This is definitely one of my favorite episodes we’ve ever done on the show. But we got to start wrapping. So let’s head over to the last segment of the show. It’s called our Famous Four. It’s the part of the show we ask the same four questions to every guest, every week. And we’re going to throw them at you. So number one, is there a current habit or trait you are working on improving in your own life?

Adam:
Less phone time. No question. Really, I’m trying to work on that. The way I’m actually doing it is I recently started putting my phone away, so it’s not even near me.

David:
That’s a big one for Brandon, too. Brandon talks-

Brandon:
I’m working on the same. Big one on me, all the time. I use it way too much.

David:
All right. What is your favorite business book?

Adam:
Hmm, actually very similar to what we were talking about with the trenches is The Dip by Seth Godin. The cover of the book is basically this hill and then it goes down and then up. The idea of the book is that the most successful people are able to get through the dip. It’s also about-

David:
Oh, man, somebody already wrote the book, The Trench.

Brandon:
That’s funny

David:
No, no, no. That’s The Dip. Yours is The Trench. [Crosstalk 01:29:07] Seth Godin won’t mind if you completely copy his entire book.

Brandon:
You’re being too kind to me. I’m never writing The Trench now. It’s over. Seth Godin wrote it.

David:
Look, Brandon, I have Buy, Rehab, Rent, Refinance, Repeat, and people are writing, Buy, Renovate, Rehab, Refinance, Repeat, and completely ripping the entire-

Brandon:
If they can do that, you can write a book called The Trench instead of The Dip. All right. Anyway.

David:
All right, next question, Adam, what are some of your hobbies?

Adam:
I love basketball. I love exercise. I love playing with my… I don’t know if that’s a hobby, I love playing with my kids. My life, it’s interesting. It’s very, very simple. It’s work, family, friends, it’s essentialism. But I would say my favorite hobby, I love playing basketball. Basketball is my favorite hobby.

David:
Haven’t you just learned a ton of life lessons out of what came out of basketball?

Adam:
Oh, totally.

David:
I feel bad for all the people that are really tall, but never actually played it. They have no idea of what they missed out on in life.

Adam:
What about the people who are really short? Who wish they could be in the NBA?

David:
That’s me. I’m the guy who was short [crosstalk 01:30:18]-

Brandon:
There you go.

David:
But I can’t share any basketball now, because of Brandon, because he didn’t like sports when he was-

Brandon:
I don’t get them. I played in college, all right? In a church league in college. Does that count? I’m thinking what we need to do sometime is we need to have a My Body Tutor/BiggerPockets fitness bootcamp, or hang out and talk for a few days here in Maui. I think we should do that sometime. I’m going to make that happen in the next few years. We’re going to do it. Maybe we’ll do it in your area.

David:
My bigger tutor, that’s what we’ll call it.

Brandon:
My Bigger Tutor, yes! All right, my last question of the day, what do you believe sets apart successful entrepreneurs and successful, we’ll call it, get-in-shapers from those who give up, fail, or never get started?

Adam:
Great question. I think the first thing that comes to mind is resilience, is that when you inevitably face those trenches, those dips, those hardships, you don’t pack it in. As they say, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. So I think it’s your ability to push through those inevitable trenches and dips. Again, I think in order to do that, you have to have a compelling vision of why it’s worth pushing through those. And, of course, having support and accountability. But no doubt, it’s resilience.

Brandon:
Sweet, man. I love it.

David:
All right, Adam, where can people find out more about you?

Adam:
You can find me on all the socials. I’m most active on Instagram, MyBodyTutor. You can find me on Instagram. You can find me on mybodytutor.com. We actually created a page, mybodytutor.com/biggerpockets. So we have a special gift for you guys. I think you guys will really love it. So you can find us there. And I hope to learn more about you.

Brandon:
Is the gift Oreo cookies?

Adam:
Maybe.

Brandon:
Because if it’s Oreo cookies, I’m going to go there right now. Just kidding. I don’t eat Oreos unless it’s a planned indulgence.

Adam:
That’s right. Well, I will say part of the gift is… Listen, there’s no doubt, I obviously believe in what I do. This is my life’s work. I’ve been at this for 14 years. But my favorite thing about health and fitness is that when you feel like you conquer yourself, you feel like you can conquer the world. And that’s the best part. I look at you, Brandon, and I look at so many of our other clients. When they conquer themselves, they have the confidence and the energy to conquer the world.

Brandon:
I love it, man. You have an email course somewhere in there, too, because I get your emails and they’re phenomenal.

Adam:
I appreciate it. Yes. That is part of the gift as well. There’s a free email course on that page.

Brandon:
All right. Well, I love it, man. I love it. I recommend everybody check it out.

David:
Adam, I want to know if I go to your page, will I find any shirtless pictures of you saying, “Hey, check out my new sunglasses”?

Adam:
It’s funny. We can really do a deep dive on this on social media. There is, on the Adam’s Story Page, I talk about why I started My Body Tutor and how I got it. And there actually is one shirtless pic, but that’s about it.

David:
But are you doing that thing where you’re like, “Hey, look at my new sandals,” and it’s clearly you with your shirt off.

Brandon:
It’s really you with your shirt off.

Adam:
You have no idea. This is my favorite topic. Me and my friends, we’ll share pictures. And we’re like, “All right, what was the real objective of sharing this picture?” Obviously-

David:
I love it. I love it. I know.

Adam:
Obviously, we get it. You have a nice body, you have a nice house, or whatever it is. Let’s really get to the real-

David:
My favorite is when people say, “People often ask me…” And then they fill in whatever they wanted to say. I’ve never in my life, ever, myself or anyone else, reached out to a stranger that I just saw and said, “How did you get that Ferrari?” I’m pretty sure we all know what people do to get Ferraris. They have money. But everyone will start their posts that way. That’s one of the things that just makes [crosstalk 01:34:13]-

Brandon:
Well, that’s the influencer joke. The influencer joke is like, “People have been asking me about my clear skin. So let me tell you about my…” Nobody’s been asking you that question! Nobody’s been asking. Come on.

David:
I got to know, where did you get those sunglasses? I’ve been dying to know. I didn’t even notice that your shirt was off when you took that picture. Or the other one is that they’ll say, “I’m doing this to inspire everyone else. I once struggled with issues like self-esteem and not being happy. But then I started working out, which you can see, because I’m just wearing a thong. Now, all my problems went away and you can, too. And that’s why I’m posting this so that you realize all your problems can be solved if you just look at my Instagram.” Rather than like you said, Adam, we know why they’re posting.

Adam:
It’s always hilarious. The other one is they show a picture of their new house or car. It’s not about the house or car. It’s just what it represents. Okay, well, then why are you posting the house or car?

Brandon:
That’s a great point.

David:
That’s a great point. They never post a picture of themselves having a tea party with their daughter and say, “This is what all my success represents, is I can do this.” It’s always, “It’s not the car that matters,” but it’s a Lamborghini in the picture.

Adam:
Right.

Brandon:
Yep. Oh, funny.

Adam:
Can we all meet up-

David:
Fellas, it’s been phenomenal.

Adam:
No. Can we meet up and just make fun of people on social media one day? Because this…

David:
That would be very therapeutic for me.

Brandon:
That sounds amazing.

David:
Absolutely. I’d love that.

Brandon:
Yes. All right. Well thank you, Adam. This has been phenomenal. Really appreciate it. And everybody listening to the show, I hope you enjoyed it. Definitely, again, I know I’m an advisor with My Body Tutor and I’ve been using them for years now and it changed my life, but seriously, check him out. I wouldn’t bring Adam on the show if I didn’t believe a hundred percent of every single thing he’s doing here. So Adam, I appreciate you, man.

Adam:
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

David:
Thank you very much, Adam. You have basically shared with us ways that people can be more fit, ways that you can build up a business, ways that you can be accountable to other people. There was a ton of value that you brought. I really appreciate you sharing what you did with Brandon and I here today. Did we already ask where we can find out more about you?

Adam:
Yep, MyBodyTutor on the socials, Instagram, et cetera. And then, of course, mybodytutor.com/biggerpockets.

David:
Perfect. Love it.

Brandon:
Love it. All right, David. Get us out of here.

David:
All right. This is David Greene for Brandon Digging-Trenches Turner signing off.

Audio:
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